ss of my will

Now I stare, enthralled by ravenous choirs of self-deprivation
Suffering the reminiscence of past injuries, or yet to come
For time has vanished, as well as love, here, in this (my) Necrodome
All that is left belches of apathy

Surrounding humans sometime befall to this aura
Intrigued by what seems grimly unattainable
Secretly wondering what is that chokes light
But there is no pride, for I'm sadness in its purest form
Even in my brightest effulgence, I was admonished
By mutters of purity, who've pierced my Armour of understandings

Oh, I begged for recrudescence, in this life, morose
Muted and blinded by darkness, which aggrieves me
For none has tasted the pernicious obscurity, as I did,
the conceited vengeance
We all sought, for it has dissipated in forgiveness
Tarnished grandeur I desecrate, from my fathomless scorn

I was given birth remorsefully in this antithetical reality
Surrounded by worthless contorted visages
Who seeks affability and compassion, through my depths
Who exist to justify my hatred, to cripple my dreams
Wounded shapes averting their gaze, furthermore from truth
Gagging in beatific haze, as their insignificance suppurates:

But who is skimming retribution?
Me? Who's secluded in this cold realm, of creeping calmness?
Or the ones masked behind dead lights of fulfillment?
I drift away in melancholy, passing by glancing hopes

Haunted by macabre flaring disgust
Where fragments of idle moments, are befouled with casual anguishes
Enticed by dying essence, of spectral lurkers
Feeling the liquidity of a soul unrested


2. Scythe Of Engrieved Melancholia

Wicked mental distortion deciphered... life
Leaving scars bare open, repulsed in my own world
Frostsplinters, jabbing and piercing my inside; bleeding to death
Withered and drowned, I decayed maculated in misery
Too harsh and unbearable, crushing my feeble hopes

I sanked at heart of an ocean of chagrin...
My heart and sanity torn and raped by nightshadows
Vomiting my soul, as evil and malady overwhelms
Fading silently, cherished by hymnodies of pure discord

Sorrowinds of corrosive truthfulness parted my entity
Forever entrapped in a world of tormented toughs and plagued perceptions
Life crumbles in dust before my sight, so futile
The world within chaotic non sense, all too painful

I'm a link between all pains , a scapegoat to pure terror
Inverted emotions redirected toward my grotesque existence
I'm dying, mourning the remnants of essence remaining
Drained and left rotting, merging with filth of creation
Carved in cruellest disdain, an everflowing burning pain...

Yearning the scythe of engrieved melancholia to reap and fulfill my
extinction
Grasped and enfrosted by emotions too powerful, darker than darkness
Struggling unheard beneath opposed reality, exiled from my sorrowfields
Bewildered and confused within confusion, extolled in neverwhere
I cannot contain no longer, the numbness of my will
Regurgitated in an unbearable purgatory of never ending sadness


3. Laments Of Martyrised Innocence

I witnessed blissful revelations, and succumbed in desolation
Each days empowered by nightmarish deceptions
Seeking retribution in the lowest of lifeform
Breathing hazardous clouds of decrepitude
Oh it hurts, those piercing adumbrations of shadowrealms
Plunged my conceptions in total disharmony
I've seen brighter days...

Whispers of inverted splendor
Ttearing my sanity apart
Choked cruelly and tortured by forlorn purity
Scarred and lacerated
Weaping my life, head's down

Violated by darkness of my thoughts, left unsane
Bleeding the pain of thousand sins, I'm drowning...
Bestruck by fear of what grasped my essence
Showed me shades of all illusions

Cloaked and embraced by obscurity unbearable
Clutching hands of those who fell by weakness
Feeding on life still warm of flesh surrounding me
Funeral deviance sickening my existence

Staggering in corruption
Blood and tears maculated deep within
Roaming in hypnotic, cadaverous loneliness
Cycle of inexistence
Imploded and disrupted my conscience
Ashamed and repulsed by my own need
That cannot be appeased nor explained anyhow
I've transcended death and reality...

Enfrosted and strangled in haze
I was reborn in repugnance and without compassion
Still ablaze by mortal failure ,I drifted
Toward realms of chaotic prosperity
Benighted and supreme

Backstabbed in hateful disdain, is how love embraced me
So cold are those shivers of unearthly anguishes
Driving my mind in repulsive, passionless disgust
Devoided of any life, I lay there drowning in my own misery
Death cleansed somehow, it adorned the chaos


4. Reaping Life's Frailty

I grasped blindly at feverish absolution
Cut and opened by razors of pure unbearable chaos
This world seems so obsolete now , my own catafalque
Guided by whispers of insanity , murmuring truth
Beyond all possible reason , my soul is replenished
By hate and misery , ravished in exquisite chagrin
Mesmerized by shivers of enfrosted purity
My conceptions drowned in instincts of extinction

Caressed by winds of darkened embrace
Bathing in misery, gagging to breath
My hearth tormented by lack of life
Unbalanced by passion
This love abloomed once
Left scars of undescribable sufferance
Bearing disgusting needs
Encrafted un desillusive darkness
Stench of martyrize sanctity
Emanates in merciless cruelty

Ravaged by warlust, seeking the source of this empowerment
Craving all that is imperceptible, so silently flows my pain
Daggers of misery have slaughtered my halcyons
I've withdrawn in a coffin of agonizing tormentations

I'm bleeding the blood of the accused, poisoning all who feared
Those nightmarish adumbrations who've torn my sanity
Which plague my purest convictions
Beauty reflects my disdain
Deep-rooted in doubtful distrus
Fading in a painful soliloquy

Waves of anguish sprawling and spreading through my veins
So cold and fragile lies my memories
Expelled from this path of cursed misanthropy
Shivers of terrorized melancholia numbed my soul
Embedded in a world unseen , sprawled by darkness
Withering as a fallen leaf, drained of all life
I died in my mind...

Inhabited by shrieks of pure insanity
Leaving my spirit in ghostly haze
Those undescribable laughter whispered within my essence
Tearing my conceptions in futile wreckage of Eden
Grasped my inside to powerfully
Clawing on life still remaining
What abloomed and adorned , shall wither and decay
My essence shall never flourish again
Llife shall'nt be granted...(Again?)


5. ...And Desolated Trails Of Anguish

I was plunged once again in cruellest treachery
Mindtorned as those whispers of forthcoming sufferance
Have pierced the silence , as well as my putrid soul

The soul is leaking painfully , filling the remnants in grief
Corrupted and entangled ,drifting abroad the shallow graves
So silent and imperceptible are my only hopes

Tired and overwhelmed by this never ending cycle

To extinguish what once torn my existence

Of futile deceptions generated by an envy of purity
Infused in darkness , bearing pallid shades of gallows dementia
Which cannot be attained here, which let me wrecked ashore
Here , light and darkness have gone forever

Always in the darkest corners of my ,mind , lies hope
To lacerate the flesh , till the life pours in nothingness
To leek in purest despair , expelling life forever
To break the cycle once , to feel extasy one last time...
As I drown in this final soliloquy , knives are buried within flesh
Blood splashes , staining beauty in everlasting misery

Pale , vivid disdain bestruck and grasped my hearth
Eviscerated hopes and my will to purify

Without salvation , I awaken , drowned and strangled by melancholia
Tore and choked by coldness of life , ashamed and silent

The world around me , so dark and fragile
Dying , raped and slaughtered by my lesserlife

Cursing this flesh entangling my true nature ,
At last I enter my domain , where demons have been slaughtered
Where angels have lost the warmth of life , pallid and darkened
Where all is pure , covered by a fog of wintry grey
And bleeding I'll meet those who've torn my conceptions
Who've shown me life , entrapped in a cage of despaired emptiness

For I'm draped in shades of forlorn essence
Muted and empowered by an enraged howling beast within
I became a fallen one , I plunged in the abomination
Silence hovered , pierced sometimes with shrieks
I arose soaked in filth , of my own mediocrity

Blinding my obedience and sickening all that is unpure
Wielding wisdom unrestrainable , forsaken my own light
All that I touch , lays lifeless in putrid failure
Scorched by chagrin of a dying mind , I do not belong here...

Forsaken was my existence , Death mocked my weakness
Agonizing in inextinguishable raping of my conceptions
For this sufferance was above the extinction of flesh
I'm a fallen one , enemy to all...)

But those thoughts vanishes with hopes , as whispers change
Crawling in a landscape of ashes and failures
To harsh revelations , where the pain is unbearable
Embedded in a purity so harsh , my hate is unbearable

Laying numbed , unable to react , as my soul shrieks
Damned within cursed mesmerizing non-sense
As it pleads not to die , cannot end my own nightmare
Trying in vain to sooth the sufferance in grotesque futility
And again I reenter the cycle , as death mocks me
Life has denied me , obscurity has drained my will

For my weakness , but I laugh back , for my strength

Pain as opened me her arms for the last time

To not succumb in what all engrieved souls did
To fall at heart of all I fought for , in Death
I may find soothness , but never peace of mind
For the discord engraved is too present and unbearable
And perhaps Death disguised as those whispers
Knowing my weakness , is trying to end my life
Pain shall forever flow within my essence.


6. The Final Soliloquy