La dispute

ly heard it close.

I thought I heard a plane crashing, but
Now I think it was your passion snapping.

I think you saw me confronting my fear, it
Went up with a bottle and went down with the beer and
I think you ought to stay away from here
There are ghosts in the walls and they
Crawl in your head through your ear.

I think I saw you in my sleep, lover,
I think I saw you in my dreams you were
Stitching up the seams on every mangled promise
That your body couldn't keep.
I think I saw you in my sleep.


2. Said The King To The River

"Up, M'Lady--Pack your things, this place is not your home.
Nor was it ever, sever every tie, tonight we ride. Tonight we ride."

"And how we've trembled at the way that time's
assembled little fires of desire in the tundra of our skin.
So, do yourself a little favor, savor every time you waver
for that shaking in my voice was only slyly feigned chagrin.
Tonight we ride."

"Oh, Lover, uncover. I know it's warm beneath your sheets
and there is ice along the streets but listen—Lover, we will recover.
But we've no time to waste with meddling in affairs
we've locked so tightly in our dreams.
We are not clean, we are not pure, we can not rest until we're sure.
So, rob your pretty little eyes of sleep's disguise.
I'm at your bedside with a bucket full of lies.
So, clear your ears and listen---

Up, M'Lady--Pack your things, this place is not your home.

But I know what is."

And to the glorious past:

You've opened my window but broken the glass.
And I beseech thee, 'shed thy beauty.'
For as a child leaves the womb and learns the cold,
you have taught us perils in the present,
and you will bring us peril in our surely-soon-to-be. Unless…

The river's not flooded this time.

Oh, Precious Distance,
Oh, Precious Pain,
You've given me a name. And
Etched it in the stones of the river bank.

Oh, Precious Distance,
Oh, Precious Pain,
You've given us a name. You've
Given us a name.


"Rise!" Said the King to the River,
"Never let up! No, bring us a flood and bring it hard!"
"Freeze!" Said the Wind to the Water,
"Never give in! No, build us a bridge!
And build it strong and angry.
Let it stills the King's decree.
Oh, you must contemplate the current,
Boy, and command that coward cease.
The boy breathes for his love says, 'I wait.'
His love says, 'I wait.'
She's shouting out, "I will come back. Yes, I will come back!
I will come—I have lived my life so uncomfortably. Darling, come for me.
Come for me."

"Rise!" Said the Boy to his Lover,
"Darling, get up. I've brought you my love, and brought it far!"
"Leave!" Said the Girl to her lover,
"I've given in. If love is a bridge, we built it wrong!"

Curb your anger.
Still your fists.
She will never come back, she'll never come back, she'll never come—
She will never come back, she'll never come back, she'll never come—


3. New Storms For Older Lovers

"I've come here as a man in shambles—worn out from begging on my knees.
Please, I'm just trying to keep my family together.
Now, when you saw you're lover wore a ring around her finger, why didn't you stop?

I have half a mind to make you hurt, to make you bleed, to make you suffer.
I swear, if you've touched her—oh, heaven,
forgive what I would do to you, you monster.
And think about your children?
They'll never believe what you've done.

Listen, I'm begging you, back off.
Let me rebuild all the things that you shattered.

She meant it, I swear that she meant it, she whispered so often,
'Husband, I'll always be here with you.'

But always is always and always is valueless.
I wish I'd never heard her speak a word.

And I hope you see us—your wife and your children
and I— buried in the wreckage of your crime,
while you're laying down your sins,
softly leaning in to kiss your guilt goodnight."

She is mine. You stole her, somehow tricked her but
We'll survive. We will. She loves me dearly—you'll see.
You are blind. She loves me dearly.

Breathe in.

He finally paused to take a breath
then looked down—it felt like staring into hell.
The man was seated in a chair before him, silent,
a statue framed in pain and flesh. He thought,
"Oh, what more can I say to sway him? To make this statue speak?
I swear he's made of stone and I am barely stirring up a breeze."

And after waiting in the silence,
finally turned around to leave.
Broken and barely through the doorway,
breathing slowly, beating hard, he heard him speak:

"I guess love's a funny thing—the way it fades away without a warning.
It doesn't ask to be excused.
And when it's gone—oh, it's gone—and it ain't ever comin' back.

There is nothing you can do to save it,
to make it breathe the way it did when you were sliding on the ring.
Trust me: It's gone for good.

Now there is nothing you can do to stop me.
She is happy when she is with me and I am finally alive. I'm sorry."


4. Damaged Goods

She forced a smile, said,
"Boy, come kiss my mouth—I'll set you free.
You know that hope you're holding to? It looks an awful lot like fear.
Now, you're so quick to fall on failure, and so quick to raise your voice, like,
'If I can't find a mistake to blame, we didn't have a choice.'

Oh, but you had option.
I was your chance to feel complete,
But when I leaned in close to you, you
Kissed your fear instead of me.

You had my hand in your hand,
You had my lip in your teeth,
You had my heart on your sleeve,
You had a chance to breathe.

But, boy, you wouldn't let your fear recede so I moved on.

And it's too late to change your mind now,
You got scared, boy, and I got gone.
Now you failed, and there's no way to turn back time.
You had your chance, boy, I tried."

"You tried?" I looked her in the eye and smiled,
"My girl, you must understand that fear is not some product that I made.
It crept unwelcome in my head the day they had her torn away.
It changed me.

Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free.

And I'm sorry, dear, but don't you dare say another word.
How could I risk holding your heart in me while still in love with her?

You were wrong."


5. Fall Down, Never Get Back Up Again

Out where the stones lay like bones by the ocean
Out where the waves crash contempt on the land
Someone was trembling for fear of the tempest
Somebody silently reached for their hand
Said, understand that if you're cold I'll keep you warm
And besides, there's so much beauty in a storm
So come down with me to the shore
And what's more, I adore you
So tell me, what is there to fear
You think some seraph up above is trying to rob us of our love
Because the sky's not clear
My dear, you know there's not
Now listen to the rain upon the rooftop
But the wind picked up

Out where the stones stand up like thrones beside the ocean
Out where the waves make a grave of the sea
The lovers struggled in the middle of the tempest
And water angrily crawled up onto the beach
Said, hold my hand and stay with me
We'll be released
But the tide clung like an anchor to her feet
And though he tried to make the water line recede
It pulled her out into the sea
He could not break apart the waves to bring her safely back in
He watched her hand break through the surface once
Then disappear again
Forever wait inside the sea for my, my dear
I hear you
You speak in every curling wave
And sing in every violent breeze
Someday not far away from here
My dear, I swear I'll see you
And we will hear the seraphs cry
For they will still envy you and I
How they envied you and I
How they envied you and I
How they envied you and I


6. Bury Your Flames

Oh, we could blame it on our hands
They lifted the drink to our mouths so we drank it
Or we could blame it on our bodies
They say, we like the way we feel when we get touched
You've got your fingers snared in my veins
I think it's time you pulled them out
And I don't care about the flesh it'll tear
It isn't flesh that I'm worried about

We held a match to keep our sight on the path
But the flame gave up and we lost it
And I've knelt for the last three years
Trying to find it back with the blackened matchstick
Today I'm not afraid of failure
The past is a flower
The future, the snow
I wasn't ever close to perfect
But I never let you go

You let your doubt lead you like a river on and on
And you will never get back to save what you had
Hear me promise
I will bury your problems in me
So sleep soundly
I held your heart in my fingers
Now it's gone, it's gone, it's gone and you will never admit
That you bid the wind blow the flames out
And buried the coals in the sea
You tricked me

You came back and you brought floods
Wearing a necklace made of hearts that you'd dragged through the mud
And I guess I wasn't quite sure what to say to you
But then I saw mine, almost reached out to grab it
Said, darling, you're the only one on earth I want to have it
But now I'm not so sure that was true
After the hell you put it through
But there was no sharp pain this time
Just the ghost of your presence compressing my chest like a vine
An unshakable absence
Like most of my insides crawled out of my mouth and went west
But that's fine
We cast our hearts in plaster
We imagined our bodies were fashioned of stone
But they chipped at the brick and mortar
We found out that we're only layers of skin hiding bones
And our bones are like chains, old and rusted in the rain
They're going to snap when the weight shifts

You moved like a fire through the forest
Your hands were as red as the skin on your lips
You'd been flirting with distance, princess
I tasted its spit in your kiss
Oh mistress, know
Today I will bury the flames of your failure
The past is a liar
The future, a whore
I'll lay your bones into the earth and you will haunt my head no more
Oh, we could blame it on our hands
Oh, we could blame it on our hands
But it was our mouths that opened up to swallow
(Oh, we could blame it on our hands)
And our heads that commanded us drink
But as I buried your flames in the dirt
I watched the smoke pull your ghost from the grave
And I fear they'll only lay in wait
Until we are face to face again
Just when I said, I'm moving, I'm moving on
I felt them come to life again and again and again and again

There are fires
That tear through valleys and make dust from grass
There are fires
There are wires
Bound in blue light, they pull us to the past
There are wires
We are tired
We should have known from the start that this wouldn't last
We are tired


7. Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles

My precious wife, I am in shambles
I am crumbling, I am
Was it something I did
Bid the tide to climb so high that it ripped our shore up
I can fix it, I swear
If you trust me
I am old and I am rusting but I care
I care

My precious wife, we made a promise
Pledged our flesh to be one
How can you doubt a love that stood so proud as we raised our children
I believe in it still
It has faltered and it has faded
But I know it's there
How'd it change
The way you thought of me
How strange to think we once were lovers
Now we've wrapped the past up in broken glass
And when you speak my name you shudder
Oh precious wife, believe I'll save this
I'll revive it, I will
We've built a family from this marriage
Why would you tear it apart

Oh speak now, precious
Your silence screams
You're giving in to failure
Hear me, the promise that you made was meant to live forever
Until our deathbed, you're not allowed to change your mind
Was there nothing in that promise
Are you listening to me

Oh husband, I could not control it
Husband, I could not abstain
One cannot stop the wind from blowing
Nor refuse the falling rain
Love stirred up a storm inside me
Wrapped its arms around my waist
I failed you dear, I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry
There was nothing I could do
No, there was nothing I could
Sure as the rain will fall
Some love just fails without reason
There is nothing you can do
There is nothing you can do
There is nothing you can do
There is nothing you can do


8. The Castle Builders

Now speak of anger,
forget all the fears you've kept about love and sex and death and faith,
erased, or swinging sweet from around her neck and between her breasts.
Let every lonely body finally break its fear of flesh and say,
"How strange it must've been back when we shook at the sight of sweat."
Let our worries wander out of like water streaming from a spring,
and sing of all the things our heads have failed to ruin yet.
There's so much they have failed to ruin yet.
Bright as lightning, loud as thunder,
We'll move all the hurt aside to let love sustain our passions,
And move up and onward.
We are not our losses, we are only the extent to which we love.
So build a home for your family, and build a castle for your friends.
Now set their beds with sheets and blanketã, keep them safe until the end.
I've felt the damage and burn from the fallout.
My love failed but theirs prevailed.
My friends, I'm only flesh and bone,
but I won't let you die alone.
So leave our hearts at the foot of the mountain.
Let our burdens be locked in the stone.
If you will help me roll it upward,
I won't let you die alone.
I see a beauty springing upward from the earth and from out our hearts.
For all the bad that seems to plague us, I swear to you there's good.
They say that death is not a problem, it's a promise,
I can only say for sure that when it makes your bed I'll kiss your head "Goodnight."
So speak of all the love we lost, and what it cost us,
Left us beg our breath to stop but we kept on and
We were strong. We stayed bright as lightning,
we sang loud as thunder, we moved ever forward.
We are not our failures. We are love.


9. Andria

You still cross my mind from time to time. And I mostly smile.
Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why
So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen,
trying to figure out what my head thinks,
but my head just ain't what it used to be.
And then again, what's the point anyway?
I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony
to see if you could see me - hidden quietly away
And I remember the skin of your fingers,
The spot three quarters up I'd always touch when I was out of things to say.
You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand.
I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear,
that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand,
And I remember how you smiled through the smoke
in a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes.
And I remember the way that you dressed and,
how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat
And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing
and I bet if I had to do it all again, I'd feel the same pain,
And I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears.
How I wept to god in fits. I've hated airports ever since.
It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.
And every single day I feel it fade away, but -
I still remember how the distance tricked us,
and lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured.
I still remember how we held so strong to this,
though we had never really settled on a way out.
I still remember the silence, and how we'd always find a way
to turn and run to our mistakes.
I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again.
My dear, I hear your voice in mine.
I've been alone here, I've been afraid, my dear.
I've been at home here. You've been away for years. I've been alone.
I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me.
I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea.
I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear.
It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear.
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.
And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.
If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend.
And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end.


10. Then Again, Maybe You Were Right

I spoke too soon, it seems, for you made a home in my dreams.
While I slept you kept running yourself through my head,
Like, "I won't be dead yet." I said, "You don't understand.
We had no control. They stole it; love's been so unfair to me."
"But see, boy, that's my point. You must move on."
Then felt her ghost move in me.
I heard her voice call out my name but this time it faded out - away.
"I'll bury it today."
So I breathed her name out into a cold, cold room,
watched her ghost ascend the walls and then dissolve,
"This time I choose to let her go.
I will not let my fear become the only world I've ever known.
I know my heart, kiss my mouth, set me free - I've wounds to mend.
And we'll be more than friends, my dear;
I fear I've changed my mind again."
"But boy, you're too late. Oh, God, it's too late."


11. Sad Prayers For Guilty Bodies

They stored their passion in the creases in the corners of their mouths,
every angle of light from the open window washed their aged faces out.
They said, "Should we feel guilty for this sin?
Lord, did we kill a man and woman just to lie here skin to skin?"
"I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy where I was..
What is life without a purpose? What is purpose without love?
I pray my children will forgive me, though I bade the river flood.
I have washed my hands a thousand times but still can see the blood."
"Oh, great mercy, I am here to beg forgiveness for this mess.
I know I tore two worlds apart but I can't change the way I felt.
Love swept in like a storm and ripped the hinges from the doors.
Love poured in like a flood, I couldn't stop it anymore. I will not be drowned."
She said, "Lover, come and hold me, I am terribly afraid.
While you're shouting at the stars, my scars are not fading away."
He said, "Darling, I was begging heaven make them disappear, but,
See, I didn't get an answer or at least one I could hear.
Now, I am thinking of the past and how we both said vows and lied and
I am wondering how we trust ourselves to say a second time:
'To have and to hold,
From this day and onward,
For better and for worse,
For richer and for poorer,
In sickness or in health,
To love and to cherish
Till death do us part?'"


12. The Last Lost Continent

I felt your sickness brush against my arm as I walked by you -
heard your voice but couldn't tell that it was you.
And, slowly, watched your sickness slip away into a place
that I'd once feared but I was not afraid this time
So I gave chase and found it, finally, slowly feeding from your head,
And from my friends, and from my family, so I grabbed it by the neck.
"For every lover you have ruined..." I dug my nails into its flesh.
"...and every life that you have taken..."
Slammed its head against the brick.
Its blood poured out onto the pavement,
I stirred it in with dirt and spit,
"I will take a part of you."
I made mortar from the mix.
Tore every organ from its body,
broke its bone and fashioned bricks,
I laid the mortar in between,
I made a throne for hope to sit.
"Too long you've torn us into pieces,
firmly held onto our wrists. Today I bury you in me."
I swallowed every inch of it.

I'll hold you, as you have held me -
you've held me in your heart, we'll be set free from fear.
We've felt our failures.
We've watched our passions leave, but we're still breathing on.
I'll hold you, as you have held me,
You've held me in your heart.
(And I will hold you in my heart)

But I still see him dead in the parking lot at the gas station just down the street.
And I still hear my friend say,
"You know, you wouldn't believe the things I saw when I was stationed overseas."
But he somehow keeps smiling in spite all of that,
while I keep finding ways to push the good out for the bad
Oh, how selfish of myself to always say that it was more than I could take,
like it was pain I could not shake,
like it could break me with its fingers, throw my body in the lake,
and I would slowly sink away
but the Truth is it was sorrow that I made and would not face.
See, I keep falling for the future after tripping on the past.
And I am always tearing sutures out to make the anguish last like it defines me.
Or reminds me I've found comfort in my suffering
and uncertainty in happiness and death,
because what's next is such a mystery to me.
I am terrified of all the things I feel but cannot see.
Friends and family, put your hand into my hand and lay your head into my chest.
You are all that I have left here
We are all that we have left.
We are the lovers, We are the last of our kind.
Link your arms and keep your chin up
and I swear that we'll be fine.
We are the lovers, We are the last of our kind.
Though we're not sure who we are, we keep our heads up
though we're not sure where we're from, we keep our hearts up
though we're not sure when we'll leave, we keep our heads up
though we're not sure where we'll go, we keep our hopes up

Keep your head up. we're fine. Just keep your head up. I swear we'll be alright.
Keep your head up. Oh, my friends, keep your head up. and I swear we'll never die.
I swear we'll get home safe and sound, we'll live on underground
I will give your heart a place to rest when everything you had has turned and left.
I'll weave your names into my ribcage; lock your hearts inside my chest.
Regain the passion I once carried; do away with all the rest.
I tore the sickness from your bodies; smashed its head against the bricks.
I made a castle from its bones that you may always dwell in it.
So sing for every buried moment that you'd thought would never end.
And sing your fears about the future; and a dirge for faded friends.
For all the love that you had held to, why it somehow failed to keep.
And sing each minute you've been frightened; every hour that you've lost sleep
And sing for all your friends and family; sing for those who didn't survive.
But sing not for their final outcome; sing a song of how they tried.
We live amidst a violent storm; leaves us unsatisfied at best,
So fill your heart with what's important, and be done with all the rest.
We are what's left of what we once were
We are falling far behind.
There's so much stacking up against us and we're running out of time.

We are but hopeful children, and we're the last of our kind.
But if we let our hearts move outward, I know we will never-
We are but friends and family, we are the last of our kind.
So hold my hand, I'll lift your head up, and I promise we'll be fine.
We are but hopeful lovers, and we are running out of time.
There's so much stacking up against us, and we're falling far behind.
We are but hopeful lovers, we are the last of our kind,
But if we let our hearts move outward, I know we will never-
We are but lovers, we are the last of our kind.
And if we let our hearts move outward, I know we will never-
We are but lovers, we are the last of our kind.
And if we let our hearts move outward, we will never die.


13. Nobody, Not Even The Rain

I know that someday you'll be sleeping, Darling, likely dreaming off the pain.
I hope you'll hear me in the streetlight's humming, softly breathing out your name.
I know that even with the seams stitched tightly, darling scars will remain.
I say we scrape them from each other, darling, and let them wash off in the rain.
And when they run into the river, oh no, let the water not complain.
I swear that even with the distance, slowly wearing at your name,
Your hands still catch the light the right way and
Our hearts still beat the same.