Votum

most taste it.
It’s this falling dream, never coming true,
This falling dream …
I never fell complete.

It’s all in this head, scrawled on a doctor’s note
Like a curse –
This sentence, it truly is one.
Or is it all in my head?
Waking me up in horror – the fact that I’m awake.

I’m here, I’m not anywhere

I wish I had limbs to move
Wish I had eyes to give a meaningful stare
I wish I had lips to ask, I’d beg you to let me go
Have mercy, oh mercy …

I beg you to let me go,
Seems familiar?
Like a broken record, like broken glass …
I stopped counting rays,
I lost count of days.
Years would frighten, if I knew –
It’s like a curse.

I’m here and I’m not anywhere
Anywhere
Anywhere

It’s this falling dream, never coming true,
I can almost taste it.
It’s this falling dream, never coming true,
I never fell completely

I beg you to let me go,
Seems familiar?
Like a broken record, like broken glass …
I stopped counting rays,
You know I lost count of days.
Years would frighten, if I knew –
It’s like a curse.

It’s this falling dream, never coming true,
This falling dream – I can almost taste it.
It’s this falling dream, never coming true,
This falling dream …
I never fell …


2. Glassy Essence


Brought into line with the rhythm
Try hard to set your eyes open
Look around, there’s no one here
You could recognize
No familiar faces define your presence
Here

Here, in this room
Here, in this bed
Here, at the time.

It was all meant to be a definite solution,
A definite solution? -
No further questioning
No further questioning? -
It was all meant to be …

One desperate run through the window
The sun is glittering on crystal vibes
Running desperate, the glassy essence
Of broken light, like broken limbs

Hear the sound, the pulsating ‘me’
On the screen
I can watch myself flicker
To the fatal beat
The beat of the rush of painful ups and downs

Running desperate through the window
Glittering like sun on crystal vibes,
Running desperate, the glassy essence
Of broken light, broken limbs

Running desperate
A dream within a dream
Forgive the acting, forgive the acting…
Running desperate
It all seems so unreal
What am I doing here?
And somehow -
Stand still gasping

Running desperate
Running …
I’m running


3. Home


Wait …
Rid the folly and help me through the rain
Wait,
Rid my folly and help me to forget

Don’t let go of me
Though it’s so hard with me –
When with you it feels like …
Don’t give in now
Wish I were different, when with you it feels like
Home

You never realize it when it’s there
Unappreciative of what you have.
How odd we drown the ones we love in hurt;
The trial of tears you went through was not deserved.

You never comprehend it ‘till it’s gone
Having all the love she gave, still wanted more.
I poisoned every day we shared with spite;
How odd we drown the ones we love
In humiliation and hurt?

Don’t let go of me
Though it’s so hard with me –
When with you it feels like …
Don’t give in now
Wish I were different, when with you it feels like
Home

You never realize it when it’s there
Unappreciative of what you have.
You never comprehend it ‘till it’s gone
Having all the love she gave, I still asked for more
Still wanted more …


4. Faces


I’m right back on my feet
I’m back in the saddle –
You make me whole again.

It’s like we’d never part,
Now we’re together.
So glad to have you back

Chase away
You chase away the blur
Make that face
You chase away the blur

It’s a cold day and
We’re hand in hand again.
- You’d always make these faces to me -

Make me rise and shine,
I’m so anxious to have you.
- Sometimes I have them nightmares -

Chase away
Chase away the blur
Make that face
And chase away …


5. Stranger Than Fiction


The road … it winds snakelike
The wish to shed the spying headlights
The plot needs a solid twist now

I say that you burn
And you burn …

The cause-and-effect rule
Is it the relentless code of fiction
That made her steer off the clear track?
Blurred out of view and faded …

It never stops haunting –
You’re here
And the next thing I know
You’re gone,
Just as I wrote it.
These words –
They have bodies and faces
They live.

Fact or print – you are bound with me,
Now and then you’re entwined in me

Be it fate or plot – you are tied with me,
Here and there you’re confined in me

It never stops haunting –
You’re here
And the next thing I know
You’re gone,
Just as I wrote it
These words –
They have bodies and faces
They die


6. Indifferent


Safe and dark,
As the rays of wandering light
Drown in the glass

Yet another gulp
To see me flicker, see me altered
See me understood

Another taste of liquid comprehension
To see me gone.

Let’s hit a new ‘low’ this time …

Safe in the dark
As the remnants of wandering thought
Drown in the glass

Yet another sip
To gain perspective, to accept the change
And mend my ways –
Mend my ways?

A funny thing, isn’t it?
How I deterred everyone I loved from loving me

Safe in the dark
Let’s hit a new ‘low’ this time …

Low …
Low, I …


7. December 20th


It's a cold winter day
A man wakes up
Takes a hot shower chasing sleep away
A lottery winning ticket still sleeping in his jacket
He knows not of it yet
He knows not of it yet

On a cold winter day
A woman puts her make-up on
She's already set the table and breakfast's prepared
Soon her family is up, time to get them ready
For the rest of the day
The rest of the day

On the very same day
An old woman stirs and
With a screech the bed sighs, or is it bones
She knows it's gonna be hard to get up
Though she's been awake
Awake for long

Don’t
Glass
Gather
Round

Ruby
Snow
Fell
Winter

Though they don't know yet
They will meet that day,
They will gather round
They'll watch in horror

A bright winter day,
A man leaps out
Out of the window,
A red halo ‘round his head
Snowflakes fell like

Glass …

Don’t ( the urge of it )
Glass ( the frailty of you )
Gather ( the faces of you )
Round ( it’s just the pieces of you )
Ruby ( the smell of it )
Snow ( it’s just the beauty of it )
Fell ( the pieces of you )
Winter ( it’s just the cold of it all )

Though they don't know yet
They will meet that day,
They will gather round
They'll watch in horror …